I'm Letting Go

Warning: This post is incredibly whiney. If you have already had a full day's worth of whining from your kids, you may want to skip this one.

Have you heard the song, "I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli? I think it's becoming my new theme song. Because, although I love to pretend I have my life under control, I don't. (If you thought I did, just scroll back and review what happened to all my projects I wanted to do while Jerry was out of town last week.) I mean, I already liked the song - in fact, I bought it twice for my iPod. Well, I bought it when we already owned it. See, it was on one of the WOW albums we already had, but since I couldn't spell the artist's name, it didn't come up when I searched our iTunes library, so I bought it. Again. Yes, as I was saying, control is an illusion.

ANYAWAY, any illusion of control I had was completely blown out of the water today by an e-mail I received. It was one I was hoping to receive, and the first few lines made me feel very excited, but the remainder, well, not so much. I imagine it was kinda the same feeling those folks who crashed the 2 billion dollar telescope this week felt as they launched it, watched it go up, and then watched it get strewn all over a field as things went wrong. Not that anything nearly as bad was in my e-mail.

First, the good news. My application to the Master of Library and Information Studies degree program has been reviewed positively and I have been recommended for admission to the MLIS degree program.

Yipee! Nevermind that I haven't seen my GRE score yet - apparently they did, and it must have been okay.

Now for the bummer news. There's a course that must be taken first in this program. It's a pre-requsite for all other courses. Every Single One. This course is mostly online, except for a two-day orientation, which is at the Tulsa Campus. On Friday, August 20th and Saturday, August 21st.

Yes, I realize that this is not the end of the world. I realize that most of you who are reading this are now scratching your heads, wondering what the big deal is. And I realize that you are probably right, and it isn't that big of a deal. I knew that going back to school would mean there would be changes to our schedule, that adjustments would have to be made, but they are starting on day one! Literally! I guess I better get used to it quickly. Nevermind that the girls start school the day before, so either Jerry will have to make arrangements to work within the girl's school schedule or I will have to make arrangements for alternate care. Nevermind that it's my birthday and I'll have to be away from my family. Nevermind that it's the campus halfway across the state instead of 20 miles south. It's higher education, and if you want it, you have to play by their rules. I knew this and chose to apply anyway, so now I must suck it up and stop whining.

Okay, I'm done. Thanks for listening.

So, back to my song - here I go, trying to embrace the fear of the unknown, beyond my comfort zone - wondering what it will be like to go back to school, except this time, instead of concentrating on school full-time, I've already got a full-time gig. Somehow I've got to do everything I already do to keep the household running, and then add in school. Wish me luck!