Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Giddy to be in the Groove

I am so glad to be back in my routine! Since my last post, we did declare a break from all activities. In fact, I don't believe I left the house once I got home from the pharmacy on Monday until the next Saturday. See, after my post on Wednesday, I developed an "adverse drug reaction" - a lump in my throat that made it difficult to swallow. It felt like I had a ping-pong ball lodged in the base of my throat! The doctor's office said to stop taking my antibiotic, since I might be having an allergic reaction, so I did. Then, that night, as I was taking my Aciphex (for acid reflux) I remembered that last time I had taken it, I had a similar reaction after 15 days - and I was on day 10 this time. I called the doctor again the next day and they said to just stop taking everything. I was concerned that the strep would come back, but the doctor's office said that it should have been weakened enough by the antibiotics that I had so far that my body should be able to fight it off. I just didn't want the strep to come back and get Jerry and the girls sick too, but I decided that since I paid the doctor for his professional advice, I should trust him. He ended up being right, but I still fell into a very bad mood.

I spent most of Thursday in bed - not that I was hurting badly or anything - I was just down! I was questioning, "Why can't I get well? Does God hate me?" Of course, it was rhetorical. I know that God does not hate me. My sister said, "No - but maybe he's disciplining you. You know he only disciplines those he loves." My glib response, of course, was that God must love me a lot! Really though, this week, through Sunday School and BSF (gosh, I was so glad to be back, I was giddy!) I was reminded that when we are presented with difficult circumstances, each choice we make is either a step towards God, or a step towards self. And really, you can't count on how you feel - it's human nature to question - but you have to go with what you know from the Word. So, what do I know? Sometimes it is a good exercise to remind myself. . .
  • If God allows a trouble, he will give me a way to make it through that trouble. (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)
  • I am commanded not to worry. (Matthew6:25-34)
  • God wants me to cast my anxieties upon him. (1 Peter 5:6-7)
  • He knows what is going to happen. (Psalm 16:5)

So, although things aren't quite back to 'normal,' health-wise, I am making a choice to once again have faith in what I know to be true of God, and know that whatever he has in store for me (and my family) is the best thing for us - even if it doesn't always 'feel' that way.

1 comment:

Amy's Antics said...

This makes me sound so harsh...maybe He's just pruning you. He who started a good work in you is faithful to complete it!!