Thursday, January 10, 2008

Who me, Anxious?

Currently I'm reading a book called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. Tonight while we were relaxing with our nightly DVD sitcom wind-down, I mentioned to Jerry that I'm going to need to purchase a copy of this book (currently I have a copy checked out from the library) so that I can mark it up, dog-ear the pages and have it handy to re-read. Jerry asked, "So what do you have to be anxious about?"

"Well, according to this book, nothing!" was my cheeky reply.

Jerry didn't give up though, and as we were laying down for bed he asked me what types of things I was anxious about. We started talking, and eventually, around 11:45 we ended our discussion and he fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Now, of course, I'm up and can't get to sleep, having brought to the forefront of my mind all the worries that I try not to worry about. Most of the time I don't dwell on them, but right now I sure am.

I guess my main concern is that we still feel so unsettled, even though Jerry has now been at his job over seven months. We still haven't found a church home, still haven't found a house to buy and I still haven't made one single friend I would feel comfortable calling up just to chat. I worry about how the kids, especially Gracie, are doing in school. I just worry about starting to settle in to find out that we will be uprooted again, and it paralyzes me. Right now it's just one day at a time - and perhaps that is the lesson I am supposed to be learning - to live one day at a time. Perhaps someday I will conquer the urge to pick up my worries after I hand them to the Lord, but for now I think I will go re-read Matthew 6:25-34 and Philippians 4:6-8.

No comments: